Many of us today feel lonely, some or a lot of the time. And if you have mental health challenges or live alone it could be more pronounced.
I felt intense loneliness when I was ill recently (I also live alone) and it was hard to keep the negative thoughts and feelings at bay. But writing a song (psalm) to God helped a lot. Here’s the first of a series I hope to produce dealing with a range of emotions.
Although it relates to my specific situation, I believe it could speak to you too if you’ve ever felt ill or alone. Here goes…
Ugh, I feel ill; So tired, my bones ache, my head pounds. Every time I move I sneeze and cough. Where’s someone to bring me tea when I need it? Where’s that person to tuck me in bed and say, “It’s OK.”
Not that I want to talk or engage, but it would be nice to know someone’s around. Someone who cares; just hearing them, knowing I’m not alone would help.
What if this bug turns into something really bad? What if I can’t alert anyone to my plight? Eek!
I know you are with me Lord. And I’m thankful. Truly I am. But it’s not the same as human contact, human touch, human thought and care.
I know you’ve given me some amazing people who I love and who genuinely care for me. But I still have to tell them if I’m not well, that I need help. They’re not here to see it as it happens.
And it’s tough.
I don’t feel like moving. I don’t feel like talking. Even sending a WhatsApp is too much.
But I must do it.
I will do it.
I need to do it for my sanity.
If no-one knows, I’ll fall into that pit of despair. I’ll start thinking that no-one cares, no-one loves me. It’s all pretend. Everything I thought before is all lies. Even what You tell me, Lord, is lies.
So what’s the point?
More questions come: If no one contacts me do they really care? If they did surely they’d call, text, drop around?
I’m falling, falling, falling…
Must not go splat.
I will not go splat.
Come on, distract yourself. Watch a film, listen to uplifting music. You can do it. It’s just your ill brain doing this Susan. You know people care; last time you were ill they brought flowers; when you were out of contact for some time, people did get in touch.
THEY DO CARE.
And Lord, even if it’s not the same, not physical, You do care, Your Word tells me so. Those verses You gave me long ago do bring comfort. They do bring hope. They do give me energy to send that message: “Help! I’m ill.”
And I’m overwhelmed by Your love, care and provision for me.
For their love care and provision for me.
I can’t help crying tears of gladness.
All is well.
I can lie down and sleep in peace. You sustain me. I will get better and I will again be able to do things for others.
Lord I love you. You are good. I can breathe again.
I am not alone.
We all struggle with our emotional wellbeing at times but sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one. I hope that by sharing this song (and hopefully more) you get comfort in knowing you are never alone when you have a relationship with Jesus.
Do let me know what you think. Did this song speak to you? How? I’d love to read your comments below 👇🏼