Recently I watched one of Abbie Barnes’ videos where she climbed Mt Blanc. Abbie has been documenting her outdoor adventures and helping people to manage their mental wellbeing for about the same time I’ve had CFS/ME. And her videos have helped me enjoy mountain adventures while I haven’t been able to (if you see what I mean). This Mt Blanc one was particularly emotional and, as I watched, I realised once again what a great metaphor a mountain journey is for life (or parts of life).
Abbie’s walk, and the things she experienced and felt, resonated so strongly with me that I had to write about it. Here’s one of my recent life experiences – finding employment – set in the context of her Mt. Blanc journey…
As Abbie was afraid of what the mountain might hold, I was afraid of getting a job
Eek! Emotions going crazy. Tears flowing and panic won’t subside. How can I get a job with CFS/ME? I don’t know how I’ll survive. Will I survive?
Every bone in my body says, “No!” A jobless life is less scary.
Pleeeeease… just let me get home from the park before I break down. Don’t let me wail uncontrollably in public…
As Abbie knew she needed to climb the mountain, I knew I needed employment
Lord, I need a job, want a job. Help me persevere. I’ve scaled scary mountains before, and all is well.
But not like this. My health has never been this poor before, Lord. Can I do it?
Yes. With you I can. One step at a time. I’ll get there. I’ll make it…
As Abbie said, “Yes” to the mountain, I said, “Yes” to job applications
And now, excitement builds. You are with me, Lord – it’s an adventure. I love adventures!
On the mountain the weather might have sucked at times, the rescue team occasionally been called out. But always, always, I’ve completed the journey.
If I have to turn back temporarily – that’s ok. If a storm rages and I get drenched with doubt – it’s fine. If injury happens – I’ll deal with it.
It’s part of the journey, the adventure. Bring it on!
While Abbie didn’t summit Mt Blanc, she did overcome her fears and feel achievment. I felt the same when I got a job
Nearly there… nearly there… Keep going… keep going… I will get something soon… Surely… Please…
Yay!!!!!!!! Interview
Yay!!!!!!!! Job offer
Yay!!!!!!!! Accepted
Happy dance ensues.
Thank you, Lord, for your perseverence. Thank you for how I’ve grown on the journey. You are good, Lord 😁
But then…
As Abbie had to dance with death on a boulder field, my job got tough and nearly broke me
Plodding, plodding, plodding.
Eek! Chaos. Emotions have gone haywire again. What is this? How can I deal with the strain? 12 years of mental turmoil and seven of physical bleugh. Can I go on?
The boulders are crashing down. Narrowly missing me. I hear a scream ricochet from the rocks. Thud!
No. That will not be me. Let’s go. I can do it.
Scared. Will my emotions overwhelm me? Will my body give up on me?
No. Lord, you are with me. LETS GO!
Phew!
As Abbie made it across the boulder field, so did I
Contract completed. Aaaand breathe again.
Thank you, Lord. Your arms have held me. Your solid presence was always with me.
Jesus, you kept me safe.
As Mt Blanc waits for Abbie, a great job waits for me
And now… Here we go again. Applying for jobs again. But you are still with me, Lord, and I can get there again.
CFS/ME will not hold me back as nothing is impossible with you.
The adventure continues…
Life is not easy at times. But with God’s grace we can all get through it. You can get through it. And with an adventure mindset it’s much more fun 😁
I pray that you can draw on His strength and enjoy the journey. God bless xx