Recently my hormones have been going crazy. And what can you do when everything feels out of control? Write a psalm of course.
Ta da!…
What a great day, chatting, laughing, enjoying the sunshine with friends. The gentle breeze blowing and life abounds.
But then… Anger, frustration, tears. The buzz has gone and fear descends. A curtain of red has drawn over me. What happened there?
I feel like Jekyll and Hyde. Am out of control. The unpredictability is killing me. Where have you gone Lord? I can’t feel your presence any more. Help!
And you do…
The ‘peace of Iona’ comes as I play music from the Isle. It slows me down. Forces me to stop. I’ve been doing too much – again. You helped me see it Lord.
And now I sink into memory as I hold my pebbles; such beautiful hues of red and green, smooth granite and marble collected from the bay years ago.
As I clasp one of Columba’s tears – the pale green mottled marble – my own tears flow. I let everything out: anxiety, fear and frustration. The pent up anger flows in their saltiness. Relief comes.
I think back to my pilgrimage on the island…
Such a beautiful day. Bright clear blue skies with a glowing September sun. The smell of salt from the ocean and the touch of light sea spray in the air.
Refreshed.
I feel the soft grass beneath my boots, watch as the machair blows in the wind. I’m sat by a lochan watching ripples dance across the surface, sunshine twinkling lazily as I gaze.
Rested.
The bay comes into view, shimmering in the afternoon haze. Yes! This is what it means to relax.
My thoughts have slowed down. I have brainspace again. Overwhelm dissipates as lay next to lapping waves, the taste of salt on my tongue.
Thank you, Lord. Praise you in your goodness. You gave me peace. The peace of Iona.
Thank you Jesus for, once again, lifting me out of my difficult emotions. And for overcoming powerful hormones with your greatness. You are good.
I pray this psalm encourages you if you’re struggling with hormonal imbalance of any kind. Time with Jesus really helps reduce overwhelm.
And for those of you who know others dealing with hormonal distress, may it help you understand.
God bless xx
[P.S. If you are post- or perimenopausal Dr Louise Newsom’s Balance website/app is excellent]